it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
