Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
