went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
