VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my shit smells like andre
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
