i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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