Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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