Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
