Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my being single is dangerous.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
