My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
