I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
