You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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