i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
