Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
