Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
