Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
