i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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