she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize