remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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