I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just cropdusted the office
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
