She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
