I'm gonna have a badass scar
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
