Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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