I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up under a house in Key West
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