2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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