Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
