i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
