i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
