Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
