well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
