You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
