You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
