I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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