We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
