This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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