roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
