The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Are we still banned from the library?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
