So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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