once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
