His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
