It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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