so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize