Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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