I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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