Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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