Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
