Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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