i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
