i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
