Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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