all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
