Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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