I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
