i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
