This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
