I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
