You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
