I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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