Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have tasted many bathrooms
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
