How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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