If i come over, it means nothing
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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