Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
