Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
