Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize