weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
