two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
