She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
