I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
